Should I let my kids control my relationships?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. My youngest really likes the idea of it, my husband committed suicide 18 months ago. My older son likes him but does not like the relationship idea. My husband and I were not "in love" we had our ups and downs and it was basically a marriage for the kids. He was on many medications and very controlling so I know the kids saw how we were. I know kids need time to heal but at what point do I say its okay for me to move on and be happy. My kids and I go to counseling and the counselor says the oldest doesn't dislike him he is just a teen and trying to be in control. He says he will respect it but will never accept it. Please help